abortion, n.: early termination of a potential voter ammunition, n.: Pages of fact sheets prepared with the careful purpose of propping up one ignorant lawyer in favor of another. In rare circumstances, a small chunk of metal accelerated to high velocities. background check, n.: a one-time voodoo dance purported to diagnose mental illness; reportedly effective in certain states, but data is scarce. Requires more funding to study the issue. bank, n.: (1) a private-sector make-work program for the otherwise unemployable. See also TSA for a public-sector example. (2) a location for the physical storage of numbers that represent virtual Intergalactic Credits. budget, n.: [BUD-jit] the essence of hope written in numerical form bullet, n.: a small dot, typically associated with items in list form. Used extensively in Microsoft Power Point. Typically the only valid method of delimiting knowledge. condolence payments: Blood money. cf. Drone strikes. cf. collateral damage Congress, n.: an institution populated by lawyers unfamiliar with the documents they modify democratic, n.: ideals whose definition has become indecipherable with age. drone, n.: 1. an intern, typically unmolested after achieving the appropriate level of ideological maturity. 2. a remotely-piloted flying machine capable of delivering Justice. fact sheet, n.: a one page work of fiction, often in list form. government, n.: a harlot seeking the command of the lowest bidder good government, n.: a madam gun control, n.: aim justice, n.: Justice, n.: righteousness in the form of a liquid oxygen driven projectile, often delivered via Drone lobbyist, n.: an elite member of the citizenry, charged with the careful conduct of the plebiscite by exercising the twin gifts of persuasion and deep pockets. march of freedom, n.: an entry--level excuse for justifying freedom--limiting laws. Generally uttered only by the amateur or unsophisticated politician. Parliament, n.: weak sauce photo-op, n.: [fo-TO-op] bovine manure consumed visually. See, e.g., http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/assets/130202111850-obamaskeet-story-top.jpg poll, n.: a colored chart; a menu of choices. Not to be confused with Pole, a person of Polish descent. Also not to be confused with public opinion. See 'public opinion'. poll, polling, v.: instructing people on their opinions through the art of questioning them pork, n.: harmless in small quantities. Congress is physically incapable of manipulating small quantities of this substance. prayers go out, v.: an inferior form of the public postal service, primarily concerned with the delivery of empty envelopes press, n.: a semi--reliable communications channel mostly concerned with enabling the sale of viewers or readers to advertisers President (U.S.), n.: in seeking the office, an unemployed lawyer; after achieving the office, an unemployable lawyer President (non-U.S.), n.: in a deck of cards, the six of clubs. pride, n.: in a politician, the venial sin of low self--esteem Prime Minister, n.: the people's excuse for a temporary sovereign promise, v.: a figure of speech valid only in the case of referring to how one gets one's pants on in the morning. public opinion, n.: fact measured by scientific instruments as yet unknown; largely expressed over kitchen tables and in minivans. Sometimes quietly associated with a tax return. republican, n.: ideals whose definition has become indecipherable with age. robocall, n.: a form of welfare directed at large telecommunications companies tax, v.: to serve citizens tax, n.: patriotic duty tax, n.: the minimum monthly payment on a citizen's share of the national debt. vote, n.: a unit of currency denoting the value of a voter. Cannot be measured without changing its value. Can only be measured in a voting booth. See 'voter', 'voting booth'. voter, n.: an unpredictable and extraordinarily powerful particle only when in close proximity to others of its kind, and only in a voting booth. NB: special relativistic effects simultaneously amplify and distort the action of this particle in Florida voting booth, n.: a quantum cage in which a voter expresses its nature; measuring the vote tends to devalue the voter. In certain districts, after measurement, voters turn out to be Disney characters. welfare, n.: Outside of Washington, D.C., a much--needed safety net. Inside the Beltway, the definition has been lost. Will advise and update entry when found.